Have you ever looked at the stars and wondered how they shine? Have you ever looked at Donald Trump and wondered? If you’ve had any sort of thought then ‘Phil Crout’, ‘Chill Prout’, ‘Phill’ or if you’d prefer, pc494 is someone you’d get on with. A man with many names and many *pples, but just one goal; beat O*ford by whatever means necessary. I wouldn’t say pc494 is inherently evil, quite the contrary, he’s always warm (mainly because he’s got a huge SA:V so he feels warm, but internal body temp. probably quite low) and endearing (see pyjamas on BUCS podium). There have been numerous occasions where many of us have been feeling ragged and rough. Pc494 is never too far away, easily approachable, pro-active and willing to give as long as it takes. His passion for the club and concern for its members is an attitude being aspired to by many and is one reason for the friendly, welcoming environment you’ll find at CUHH today.