Cillian has been steadily climbing the ranks within the club: starting off living with no Hareys, he moved into Scarey House this past year, and within a few months has even made the bold decision to ditch his housemates in order to access glorious Harey House. It is unclear how far his ambitions extend; however, his grabbing of the Junior Treasurer role and his resulting ability to bribe Hareys is rather concerning. Even more worryingly, his Maths PhD has enabled him to lure the Men’s Captain into his net, thus providing himself with another avenue to accomplish his goals.

Of course, Cillian will try to install a false sense of trust, claiming that his strong performances for CUHH are proof (definitely not rigorous) that he cares for the wellbeing of the club. Indeed, a fantastic run at BUCS Cross-Country secured a team Bronze in the B Race – but what if this was less a demonstration of athletic ability and more a necessity of his Machiavellian objectives? Cillian will also attempt to win you over during track season, as he intends to improve upon his already impressive 3:54 1500m. Beware.